


Killer Ratings

by antivillain (museofspeed)



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Newsflesh Trilogy - Mira Grant
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 10:30:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13165059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/museofspeed/pseuds/antivillain
Summary: Sometimes you have to stow away on a spaceship to get an exclusive feature.





	Killer Ratings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [grayintogreen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayintogreen/gifts).



> For Chris, who has survived holiday retail hell. HAPPY HANUKKAH ETC ETC I LOVE YOU

"Hey, Quill."

Peter looked up, over at Rocket, who was currently poking at the screen in front of him. "What?"

"Thought I told you to tell me before you start bringing random chicks here. It messes with my fuel calculations." Rocket jabbed at the screen angrily. "Now we're gonna have to stop and we haven't even found our next job yet."

" _What?_ " Peter scrambled up and shot a look over at Gamora. "What? I-- I _didn't._ I swear. I don't do that anymore!"

Gamora rolled her eyes. "Peter didn't do it, Rocket."

Peter nodded. "Yes, see? Thank you, Gamora, I--"

"He's not nearly subtle enough to be capable of bringing someone on board without any of us noticing."

Peter looked up at the ceiling. "I mean, I was _hoping_ you meant cause of my loyalty and trustworthiness but fine, I guess I'll take it."

Rocket muttered something under his breath, then turned the screen towards the two of them. "Well, then either Mantis or Kraglin's suddenly developed a social life, or we got a stowaway." The computer beeped. "Make that, _two_ stowaways."

Peter frowned. "Couldn't _Drax_ have--" Gamora and Rocket just looked at him. He rolled his eyes. "Right, right, never mind."

Gamora picked up her sword, snapping it open. "They will regret having crossed paths with the Guardians of the--"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Peter stood up, moving in front of her, hands up. "Look, we have to at least find out who they are and what they want before we kill them."

Gamora scowled at him, then put her sword away. "Fine. Let's find these stowaways and..." she forced a smile. It was not extremely convincing. "Have a polite conversation."

Rocket looked between the two of them, then grinned. "Oh, I am definitely coming along. This is gonna be _hilarious._ "

 

Shaun carefully pried the top off the container he and George had stashed themselves in. George kept watch, gun held up and ready, and looked around.

"You've had a lot of dumb ideas over the years, Shaun, but this is probably the dumbest yet," she hissed at him.

Shaun flashed her a bright smile. "Come on, George, don't tell me you aren't _dying_ to be the first one to interview the _Guardians of the Galaxy._ "

"Maybe," Georgia slipped out of the crate, looking around. "But I still say we should have done it on the ground."

"We'd never have gotten them alone." He carefully eased the crate lid back down. "And you'd have still been sulking cause the press conference quotes were so _canned._ I mean, that talking shrub wouldn't say anything but its name. Come on, this'll be _way_ more fun."

At that moment, the cargo hold door opened and Gamora stormed in, holding up her sword. "State your business, _intruders._ "

Georgia raised her hands and flashed a scowl at Shaun, muttering at him under her breath. "Why does your idea of fun always end up with some terrifying green lady threatening us with a sword?"

"Because I'm _awesome,_ " he muttered back at her, then flashed Gamora that winning Irwin grin of his. "Hey, I'm Shaun Mason. This is my sister and partner, Georgia Mason. We're from _After the End Times._ Maybe you've heard of us?"

"Wait," Peter said, coming in behind Gamora, eyes wide. " _After_ the end times. You mean you _time_ traveled? From after the apocalypse? Are we supposed to stop it?"

Rocket scoffed. "Time travel ain't possible or I'd've done it already. They're full of shit. Kill 'em, Gamora."

"We're _not_ time travelers," Georgia said hastily, taking a step forward. "It's a blog. An online news source?" Did they have blogs in space? She had to hope _news source_ at least meant something.

"Wait, Gamora, don't kill them!" Peter stepped forward. "You guys are _press?_ "

"More like _depressing_ ," Rocket crossed his arms, leaning against the door. "Why can't we kill 'em?"

"Cause one, it's _wrong._ " Peter attempted to look stern. He mostly looked vaguely constipated. "And two, good press means more publicity means more people wanting to hire us."

Georgia nodded, adjusting her sunglasses. "Mr. Quill is smarter than he looks. This could be advantageous to both of us. I'll conduct interviews with the crew and write up profiles. Shaun will tag along on your missions and get all the action shots. We can do a whole series."

"So like _advertising,_ huh?" Rocket stroked his whiskers. "I like your style."

"No, not _advertising,_ publicity." Georgia frowned at him. "I won't lie or bend the truth. I will include your contact information."

"Sure, whatever you say, Georgie." Rocket grinned at her. "I'm in."

Peter nodded. "Yeah, me too. And may I just say that I bet you have very pretty eyes underneath those sunglasses, and I would love to--"

"No," Georgia and Gamora said in unison.

"--have a very professional conversation in which no boundaries are pushed at all," Peter finished innocently. "Wow, where did you think I was going with that? Get your minds out of the gutter, ladies."

Shaun snickered, looping an arm over Georgia's shoulders. "Yeah, George. Stop being so gutter minded."

Georgia elbowed him hard in the ribs and turned to Gamora. "I realize we'll have to get the rest of the crew on board with this as well, but what do you say? Are you in?"

"I don't know." Gamora rubbed her arm, glancing away. "I don't like people prying into my past."

"I'm aware," Georgia said. She shook Shaun off and stepped forward. "But if I may, the bigger your team gets, the harder it'll be to keep your secrets. People _will_ come prying, and murdering them is not a good long term solution. I want to give you the opportunity to tell your story in _your_ way, with as little bias as possible. Read my work if you don't believe me. It speaks for itself."

Gamora hesitated another moment, then nodded. "I'll read your work. If I find you're telling the truth, I'm in."

"Excellent." Georgia tapped on her phone. "I'll send you a link right away. And then I believe we're in business."

"Great," Rocket said. He looked over at Shaun. "Hey, wanna see some stuff go boom?"

Shaun grinned. "Okay, you're my new favorite."

Georgia watched them run off, looking faintly amused below her sunglasses. One thing was certain: this was going to bring in _killer_ ratings.


End file.
